i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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