Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
