I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
