I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
