no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
