I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
