You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
