You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
