i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i think i have herpe
just one?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
