He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
two words: eviction party
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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