I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
