So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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