CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
