Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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