Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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