I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
