I should be sponsored by Trojan
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
