S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
