I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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