She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
