So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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