I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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