I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
