its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
