Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
