I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
