Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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