I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
