I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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