i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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