I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
