I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
