At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You smell like stripper and shame
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
