I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
