i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
