You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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