....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i dont even know how to be here
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
