in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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