Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
