it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
