I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
