My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
