i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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