You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
