You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
