The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
