Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
ttyl tear gas
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
