Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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