Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
