Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
