Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
