I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
